Rendezvous with Mother Nature

Yesterday night was my first official encounter with the rain. It had rained only thrice since I arrived here. It was 10:30 at night and the town was half asleep. Usually these initial rainy conditions are accompanied with power-cuts, mosquitoes (Himesh Reshamiya’s fans!!) and hot humid weather. We had just ended with the discussion that Indra’s job should be handed over to the queen of soaps, Ekta Kapoor...she handles this rain thing very well in her serials...heavy rains and a story in each of them. Indra devta seemed not to be happy with this idea!! And to make his position secured, he demonstrated a tiny version of his power...well, our idea worked...and we were on our way.

Sitting in the rain with head tilted above, I realized how much I wanted to see it...and how much I miss those rainy days of my childhood. It used to rain heavily in those days...heavy enough for my heart to be content. We were the lucky ones. If the rain started at 3 or 5 in the morning, which would mean school’s ground must have been filled with it and...what else...chhutti!!! Praying this and secretly and devil-ishly smiling in our minds we used to just lie down and listen to the “tup tup”...when woken-up by mother, we used to rush to the window just to have a look at it...and the street of course, just to analyse the situation!! A secret smiling code transmitted to the other...Dressing up for school had never been so fast and interesting on any other day. A childish cosmic energy would help us to get ready for school in spite of knowing that the school would be closed today! It was a chance for us to be in rain...a chance to see the principal standing at the gate under her umbrella and asking children to return back. We would go all the way back to home through a different route (a long one) crying to other students, “wapas jao, chhutti hai!!” no matter which school he belonged...:D

Sometimes, we were not that lucky...going school in car is not always a boon...we were the dry ones and had to attend school in little less rainy conditions. Ahhh...par class mein kiske man lage jab bahar barkha rani nach rahi ho...dark and gloomy class...yellow and boring bulb lights...a teacher speaking some strange language...and restless heads turning left right, sometimes to doors, sometimes to windows...and the best part, when at dismissal I used to think, “kash mummy ne ye banaya ho” and to my surprise there it was already served before me...Maybe this is why rain is an answer to a child’s prayer...

I remember when I was in my first year in hostel...I was a lone lonely loner for the first time ever...it had rained so beautifully...a depressed dry heart of mine got so elated like it had found the thing it was looking for. With umbrella in one hand and shrinking to my half volume to avoid getting wet, I called home (I don’t know why). I told father suppressing my tears, “it’s raining heavily here”. He just laughed. How stupid I was...it rains heavily everywhere else...what’s the big deal...

I just wanted to share the rain with someone...just wanted to tell how beautiful I was feeling...just wished someone to see the rain through my heart...for the first time in my life rain had brought such strange feeling to me...to be with someone...Maybe this is why rain is an answer for a longing soul...

Now sitting here in the dark and feeling the rain on my skin, I wondered how it used to be fun, and then an emotion and how it has become an escape. I questioned myself why doesn’t the bathroom shower gives this kind of pleasure...after all it’s just a matter of getting wet from water falling from a height and giving you a tickling feeling behind your neck. This is Mother Nature...something inside you is connected to her...It’s like the relief you get whenever you see your mother’s face...the assurance you get in her presence so that your heart can say everything’s fine...the refuge you get in her arms...The same is with mother nature...No matter how old you get, every time it rains you will feel the love and blessing pouring down, every time you feel it you get to know everything’s fine, the assurance you get that you are being listened...Maybe this is why rain is a refuge to a tired mind...

Akele hain chale aao, jahan ho,

Kahaan awaz de tumko, kahaan ho..

Good work Mr. Indra! But you could have done better!! :P

Serendipity

Two special things about this blog…First, m sitting in my car (my father’s actually), storming thoughts, chilling A.C and Mohd. Rafi songs…Second, it’s a beautiful day (ya shayd maine specs lagae hain isliye sab kuch clear dikh raha hai!) Black clouds, Green grass n trees, Brown mountains…inexplicable!

But none of the above has inspired me to write but a heartwarming serendipity…

OK…feel the chill of the A.C. and imagine…

It’s a wedding reception...very weird out-of-situation bollywood songs at loud volume...a pandal crying ‘no more please’...giggling ladies, ogling men and a gift in your hand to make sure u don’t escape the embarrassment...Ok, inside what I see...people busy filling their stomachs that have been intentionally kept empty for several hours. Three kinds of people come to such places…Relatives and people who have to fulfill this formality for sake of others happiness and social ethics, those who need a topic to gossip for next few weeks, and those who have planned their dinner here. My brother wished Namaste to one of our neighbors (who was among the early comers and must be helping himself second time with the food) only to discover some remains of all the items present on his plate between his teeth...I couldn’t dare to see anyone coz I was looking down and searching for safe landing for my feet and avoiding their collision with paper plates, napkins and all sorts of imaginable crap. If I’m so critical about such functions, why am I here? Nobody forced me.

Well, I was here to congratulate the bride who happens to be my very close school friend...I had to come...I was happy for her...and I was meeting her after 6 long years. I gathered courage to look few degrees here and there and saw her (a vague image, no specs)...sitting on a small wooden stage with the groom...looking down nervously...I can understand what she must be feeling..:P Like coke bottles placed in a refrigerator or like items in a showcase…I could see her in lal shadi ka joda and loud bridal make-up but could not identify her with the face I had in my mental database...she must have seen me approaching the stage coz when our eyes met she gave me a big toothy smile and then covered it with her hand...maybe she realized the criticality of the situation...chalo one thing confirmed she remembered me...and was equally happy to see me...I climbed the wooden stairs frightened as always, congratulated her and handed her the gift...before I could further say anything she spoke looking into my eyes, ”Bahut achhi lag rahi ho!”...I lost my speech...I just got lost in her innocence... here she should be one to receive compliments…we began talking to each other like we used in our class, library, on field...maybe she is just sitting on a chair in the lab and m giving her the practical copy...hmmm...amrit that was 7-8 years back...

Suddenly an impatient lady pushed me aside and managed to hand over an envelope to her...I realized we have been talking for an unaccepted time period…I moved down…I looked for a friendly face but in vain.

You really can’t escape these situations…a videographer flooding whole of his flash into your eyes (esp. if u r a beautiful girl like me…ok sorry!) and what else, you with your plate are being filmed. Now what does the food I am eating has to do with the reception ceremony…unka per plate cost kitna hai…main chukka dungi…kishto mein..!!

I once again saw her…this time sitting alone…dulhe raja had descended down to talk to his friends…leaving his jeevan sangini behind, sitting alone…now what do I think of him?? Again, I grasped few minutes to talk to her and this time I sat beside her…her expressions told she was glad to have someone beside her… All was so cool for her…jaise ye sab to hona hi tha…I would say she is more stronger than me…she has the courage to accept what is going on with her…There was a percent of relieve inside me that I was not her…we were again like two kids secretly gossiping in a class…she wanted to know about me, I wanted to know whatever happened to her in past 6 years…I had nothing much to tell her…maybe I didn’t want to tell her…well what will she understand and why I expect she will try to when she must be having the wonderfullest moment of her life…

Now the question is, I was so sure to meet my friend in the ceremony then why this is a serendipity?? What’s the sudden discovery?? The answer is, I discovered myself in my old friend…in the confidence she had that the 6 yrs can’t change the people from what they were in past 18yrs…in the confidence that I can be an efficient manager and employer…in the confidence that we are best friends in spite of the fact that I hardly talked to her when I visited home in my vacations…all I had in these yrs was a letter she wrote to me in my first year…it was a home coming…

We left very soon…now that neighbor uncle must be helping himself with the desert…:P

the New City

New city can really change your life. Especially, after a hostel life where you were only concerned with eating, a bit of studying and friends. It has been two and a half months here in Chandigarh and I’ve really started to get the taste of so-called-fast-forward lifestyle, back-biting corporate environment and save-relationships-before-they-go-into-the-dustbin situations.

My source of inspiration for this blog is my recent bike rides because the only time I get to think about life is when I’m on the pillion seat of my bro’s raven black Pulsar 180. One good thing about Chandigarh roads is that there are no “beauty spots” on roads to “Brake” your thoughts. The only two reasons why you want to slow down are when you have reached where you were headed to and second, when the light goes red. I was always fond of sitting on bikes while someone with good driving skills rode, making an unheard promise of my safety. Of course, travelling CTU city buses is also a very peaceful experience but that makes me sleepy and wish that the bus doesn’t turn abruptly, making me do a goofy in front of others.

Yes, back to the private ride...it is only when you are sitting on a powerful bike and moving at a considerable speed, parallel to the road, your mind gets relaxed and several thoughts (good ones, of course) come gushing in. And it is only then you feel like closing your eyes and tilt your head upwards and feel the strength of the wind coming on your face. The sound then you hear is not of the bike’s engine but the wind that is loudly encouraging you for more speed. It roars in your ears and for a while you are carried away by it. You have heard this sound before…when?? Ahhh...It’s like you are listening to a thunderous black hole...giant, terrifying, yet elegant.

The only disadvantage of this power ride is that your hair gets all entangled and wildly ruffled up...and I love my hairs.

Here I have a two room flat, which I wish to decorate well and make it worth living...A bit of greenery is essential...but all this need to wait for a while. My first concern is to manage my time and priorities. I know I need to work very hard on myself and this is the only time I have got.

Sometimes, I wish to get dissolved in the crowd...Forget myself...my past...like a single star in a galaxy full of billion others. Let the new life empty my cup...spill all my past, pain, short comings. Now, when I get tired and want to relax, I don’t look for a human company anymore but wish I had cute, small and puffy paws playing with my cheeks...that of a puppy or a kitten... strange, isn’t it? Maybe they will sadly wait for me at the gate and get happy at my first glance...maybe I’ll name them after some galaxy or just NEBULA...

Sometimes, I miss my terrace episodes at nights...No more escapes to a wide and silent place...and no more of a dark n starry sky...Life has taken a serious turn with my Sony vaio always opened in front of me with me every time chewing something or gulping a cup of cinnamon tea, thinking if I die here this instant, would anyone bother...or how long it would take anyone to notice...what is better, to allow myself to be carried away by the crowd or sit somewhere safe and find a better way to do my business.